Finding Me
by moderatelyexcessive
Summary: Amy disappears for three years after realizing that she'll never be able to grow into who she wants to be when her reputation with Sonic hangs above her head. When she returns, this brand new hedgehog sparks the interest of a certain black enigma which soon blossoms into something more. However, what happens when someone from her recent past comes back to haunt her? Shadamy.
1. Chapter 1

I was severely unhappy with how I wrote chapter one so I have taken it down. For those of you who have read it, good for you. It stays canon. For those of you who haven't, it is alright. I will lightly recap it sometime in the story. I have deemed it unnecessary and not all that important. So happy readings and let us venture on!

And if you _really_ want to have a copy of the original chapter one, go ahead and PM me. But once again, I say it is not important at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**4/30/13 - Small edit towards the end for better clarity.**

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The curtain of darkness and stars envelop the night sky, broken only by the soft snowflakes falling from the heavens. The silence is heavy in the man-made crater that the sonic crew and their new enemy have created. Rouge and Tails fly about fifteen feet above Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow. All are poised for action; tense muscles, ragged breathing, and cautious eyes. Rouge surveys the ground for any signs of movement and suddenly there is a slight shift of snow between Sonic and Knuckles, "Knuckles! Front!" Knuckles reels back his fist to strike the ground but Shadow launches into him just as another spiked tendril lashes up where Knuckles had just been standing. Rouge flies into the tendril, latches onto it, and manages to get the metal frame open enough with her knives to pry at the wires.

The tendril flails as if in pain and Rouge loses her footing and flies across the field, just in time to crash into Knuckles causing them both to tumble from the force of the throw. In the span of the few seconds it took for this to happen, four more tentacles launched from the ground and surrounded Sonic. Tails calls out for Shadow just as he rips apart the tentacle that had attempted to stab him through his heart with a spin attack. Shadow whirls around and calls out, "Chaos Spear!" just as Tails lifts Sonic by the hand out of the mess of sparking circuitry as it slithers back into the ground.

However, the six tendrils came flying from the ground once again fully repaired. The five heroes, already tiring from the long battle, steel themselves for yet another assault. Tails knows that they have to find the core of this robot if they ever wanted to end this fight but the constant barrage of attacks required each member to support and hold their own. Dropping Sonic back down to a relatively safe distance from the tentacles, he runs back into the fray, acting as support for Knuckles against two attacking tendrils. As Tails attempts to reposition himself to look for the core, a tendril slams into him and hurls him into one of the many piles of snow. But rather than being met with a soft cushion, Tails feels a sharp pain run down his spine as he flips over and lands on the ground writhing. He realizes that the core had been buried beneath the snow he had just crashed into. Just when he is about to call out to his team, a spike erupts from the ground above Tails' head. However, a figure blurs above him and suddenly the core is flying through the air. The tentacles stiffen and all aim directly at the new figure, poised for a death blow. Without missing a beat, the words "Chaos Spear" are directed towards the core and echo through the night as the robotic menaces fall lifelessly to the ground as the core falls to pieces. As the snow that had been covering the core settles, the flash of pink is seen kneeling before Tails. The silence is overwhelming as the others begin to slowly gravitate towards the girl that disappeared for three years without a word. Suddenly, the intensity of the night begins to weigh on the group as they approach and watch from a short distance as she reaches into her coat for what looked like pain killers and gently lifts Tails' head for him to swallow. Every pair of eyes wide and silent until Tails nodded to indicate he could stand on his own. She slowly stands with Tails and faces those she once knew.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it took so long! I made it twice as long to make up for missing two months. Thanks for the support everyone!**

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The first thing Shadow notices are Amy's eyes. The memory he carried of her was always a warm green light yet as he stared at her now, she reflected an electric shade that he found unnerving. She smiled casually, as if she had seen them two hours prior rather than the three years she had vanished. Sonic seems to open his mouth to say something but instead his jaw clamps shut and he rushes over to take Tails away from her. Rouge lifts her hand to give a tense wave and Amy nods her head in acknowledgement. Only one person manages to destroy the uncomfortable silence in one fell swoop of his voice, "Amy! Where've you been, girl?"

Knuckles wraps his arms around Amy and lifts her off the ground in a bear hug causing her to drop her hammer with a clang only Shadow seemed to notice. She gasps at the sudden contact but recovers quickly and squeezes Knuckles back.

"Oh, you know, here and there." She says with a fluttery laugh.

"How long has it been? Three years? You're all grown up!" He replies, ruffling her quills.

Tails clears his throat, "It's great to see you Amy, but I think I might have a concussion." His weak voice wavers over to them with a hint of playfulness. This gets a bit of a laugh from the rest of the group and they begin to head off to one of Rouge's many properties around town to patch themselves up. By the time they arrive to one of the cafés Rouge owns, everyone has gotten over the shock and has begun joking and talking with Amy about the battle that had just occurred. All but two speak: Shadow and Sonic. Everyone is accustomed to Shadow's guarded space but Sonic's silence creates a tangible hole in their usual dynamic.

Everyone settles into their usual seat at one of the tables. Sonic takes the seat at the head of the table while the others sit on the sides; Shadow notices Amy lingering by the door and realizes that the only seat left is on the other side directly facing Sonic. But before he can offer her his seat, Amy announces, "I- uh. I need to use the bathroom."

Rouge nods her head towards the back of the café and Amy seems to retreat hurriedly away. This allows for the table to burst into conversation.

"Where do you think she's been all this time?" Tails asks.

"Why does it matter? She's back. We're lucky she showed up! You'd probably be way more injured than you are now," Knuckles replies as he precariously leans back on the hind legs of his chair.

Sonic gently pushes the front legs of Knuckles' chair back with his foot causing Knuckles to loses his balance and nearly falls before righting himself back, "Is it just me, or does she seem different?"

Sonic's observation recreates the somber mood and Shadow comments, "Well, what do you expect? You ran her out of town."

The table becomes tense as Shadow stands to go to the restroom, leaving the room with his dead panned observation. He knows they feel guilty, knows that they searched and searched for the better part of the first year, knows that Sonic wishes he could take it back. But Shadow finds that he doesn't care. Instead, he's more interested in the fact that Amy has been snooping around in the back for quite a while now.

Just as he turns the corner to the hall leading past the kitchen and into the door to the back alleyway, he staggers back and feels Amy's hammer graze his chest. He barely manages to control his voice, "What the hell, Rose!?"

Amy has a crazed look in her eye, like a caged animal, if only for a second before she blinks and drops her hammer. Uneasily slipping out of a defensive position, Shadow realizes that Amy has stripped herself of her maroon petticoat and gray scarf, leaving her in black leggings and a black bandeau. Shadow quickly narrows his gaze at Amy, partly because he didn't want to stare and partly because he was becoming warier of this person with an old friend's face.

"Oh, I'm sorry Shadow. You startled me is all."

"What are you doing sneaking around back here?"

"Nothing," Amy says with an uneasy smile, "Just looking around."

And with that, Amy picks up her hammer and shrinks it into a palm sized baton. But as she walks past him, Shadow firmly grasps her wrist. She turns slowly, but what meets his eyes is not the Amy from seconds before. Her eyes are narrowed in a way he's only seen in his own reflection and her teeth are bared. These observations weaken his grip and she easily slips away.

Shadow stands in the hallway pondering what he's just come across. What happened to Amy Rose? He plays the situation back in his mind, looking for abnormalities or hints to the past three years. But the only thing that stood out was a long scar from her shoulder blade to the wrist he had grabbed hold of. Realizing that there was nothing more he could possibly do, Shadow makes his way back to the table where Amy is already seated where he was.

"So Ames," Sonic begins, "How've you been?"

For the first time since she arrived, Amy looks Sonic in the eyes and smiles, "I've been great. Traveling, camping, and working my way through the continent. And what's new with you guys?"

Shadow finds himself slightly disturbed by the abrupt personality change from the hallway but the rest of the group excitedly jumps onto the chance of pretending nothing ever happened.

Tails is the first to pipe up, "Well, Knuckles and Rouge started officially dating two years ago."

Rouge simply giggles while Knuckles' muzzle is splashed with a shade of pink that rivaled Amy's. Trying to recover, Knuckles blurts out, "Oh yeah? Well Tails confessed to Cream yesterday!" This causes Tails and Knuckles to go into an argument about privacy that veers off into its own world.

Rouge turns her attention away from the bickering boys on Sonic's left and right to the politely smiling Rose. However, before she's able to begin a conversation, she notices Shadow watching Amy from the corner of his eyes in a very obvious manner. Rouge wonders if this is because he'd always had a soft spot for the pink flower. Whether he knew it or not was another question entirely.

Shaking her head, Rouge calls for Amy's attention with a question in her direction, "So just where have you been, hun? Here and there must have names."

Amy's eyes light up as she goes into detail about some of the cities she visited and the nights she had had on the road. Amy had become quite the story teller over the years because by the time she had reached the end of her story, even Shadow seemed entranced by the way she wove together paintings of the night sky blanketed in millions of stars, cities of bustling innovation, or roads that glistened with the fire of the setting sun. When she was done, a comfortable silence hung over the group.

Surprisingly, Sonic was the first to pipe up, "But where was the last place you stayed?"

Amy's expression wavered for a moment before she was able to shoot back with, "Oh, I didn't really settle anywhere for too long in the previous year." The falter would have been unnoticeable had Sonic and Shadow not been looking for it.


	4. Chapter 4

_She can describe in detail the way the sky bends before it's about to fall. It takes on a green hue at the edges of the world, the clouds thin and retreat as if fleeing in terror, and the air becomes acidic. It's a memory transmuted by her fear yet still horrifyingly accurate._

_She's running from him. Running to try and get away from the feel of his body against hers, the smell of his fur after a long day's struggle, the sound of his voice as he growls into her ear. She's trying to flee from their piercing screams, their accusations, their truths._

_And then he's standing before her with that look on his face that told her that he was enjoying her pain. She'd seen it too many times in the privacy of their camp, far away from their team, far enough that they wouldn't hear her sobbing. Or screaming._

_He's got her arms wrapped around her in this surreal kind of way that can only be described as "dreamily". Not because she was happy he was there, but because this couldn't be happening. She realizes this is a dream. And she laughs in his arms because he can't hurt her. And she's laughing so hard now, she's crying. But she still can't force herself to look into those eyes. Because if this is the before, his eyes will be gray, but if this is the after, they'll be black._

_And although this is a dream, she's still terrified. As her laughter begins to turn into tears, he nuzzles his mouth against her ear and whispers, "It's not a dream."_

As Sonic lies on the ground with a metallic hammer pressed against his nose, he realizes that he probably shouldn't have tried to wake Amy from the nightmare she was having. The crash had caused Tails and the visiting Rouge to run in from the kitchen and begin to smile at the silly situation. However, as the oddness of the situation dies down, Amy's rigid body and refusal to lower her weapon became a silent battle between awkward and threatening.

"Um, Amy, I'm sure Sonic didn't mean to offend you with whatever he did," Tails says hesitantly as he begins to creep toward the pair. Sonic nods in agreement, careful not to make any sudden movements. Just as Tails coaxes the hammer from Amy's hands, Rouge realizes that the silence is filled with Amy's ragged breathing and dripping tears.

Rouge takes this moment to step in front of Tails and gently leads Amy to the couch she had been sleeping on. She realizes that perhaps Amy shouldn't be left in an apartment on her own, at least not until they figure out what just happened. She holds one of Amy's shaking hands with her own, and filled with an overwhelming sense that Amy would snap if their voices went above a certain volume, Rouge whispers, "Sugar, what's up? You okay?"

Having the exact same thoughts, Sonic and Tails decide to give the girls some space and back up to the kitchen's entryway. Sonic shifted uncomfortably, not used to such emotionally intense moments when all he could do was watch. Tails placed his hand on his brother-in-arms, knowing full well how Sonic felt about being useless. So they stood there, concern lighting their eyes as they struggled to piece together just what would make Amy snap in such a way.

She felt so stupid, so weak. How could she have let them know something was wrong? How could she have compromised herself so early? She had wanted to escape and pretend that the past three years had been a dream but she could see now that even in her dreams she could not escape _him_. Realizing that she had been drifting in her laments for far too long, Amy lifts her gaze to Rouge and smiles brightly.

"I'm so sorry! Being on the road for so long makes you a bit weary of when something happens in your sleep," she says, using a tone of voice Sonic hadn't heard in years.

"Well, honey, that seemed more cagey than weary." Rouge replies, attempting to broach the topic as carefully as she could.

Sonic stands, eyes narrowed, as he realized beyond a shadow of a doubt that Amy, their Amy, is gone. When Amy glances up at him, his face reveals that he had figured it out to some extent. Their time together, though the love was one-sided, had allowed them to know one another like the backs of their hands. Sonic takes a step back, startling Tails with the sudden movement. Abruptly, Amy releases her hands from Rouge's and strides over to Sonic, leans in, and touches the side of his face, "I'm sorry for almost hurting you, I was scared."

Against his better judgment, Sonic leans into her hand and reluctantly nods his head. Stepping aside so she can get some air, Sonic stops Tails from calling out as Amy walks out the door.

"What just happened?" Tails said, looking back and forth from Rouge to Sonic.

"I think there's something Amy's not telling us," Rouge replies with an uneasy gaze aimed at the door.

"She'll tell us in her own time," Sonic says as he moves to the window to stare after Amy's retreating form. Tails notices Amy's dark maroon petticoat draping the side of the couch and wonders if she'll be back before it starts snowing for the night.


End file.
